Svetlana Besedina

I’m in a state of emptiness. For now. I realized I need to start with myself, with what - I’m still thinking. I generally think for a long time. It was easier for me when others decided for me what to do. It was like that for a long time. But at some point I got tired of dancing to someone else’s tune. My desires began to go against the opinion others have of me, even those close to me. I’m starting to let them understand that I can decide for myself what interests me. But so far this doesn’t concern anything global. Apparently my processualism shows - being tuned to the process rather than the result. For now I’m feeling out the ground under my feet, looking for what inspires and charges me. Maybe it’s not necessary? The path is very long? Should I start with a dream? Develop imagination! I haven’t started yet. I wonder what will come of the task about 1000 goals? While writing goals with Kristina I kept stumbling and still turned back to the past, not the future... Apparently, the lack of a real goal is what creates the state of emptiness? You do a lot of things - but it’s all not it. I really hope that during the course I’ll figure this out - where to go? And WHAT FOR? Thank you, Igor [Graf], for doing everything for this!